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I'm Insecure

And That's Okay

Written by: Bella and Imaan Date: September 05, 2017

Dear Brownie,

First off, before you read my post on MY insecurity story, check out Bella's video on her take on insecurities! We tried to keep it as concise as possible and don't forget to subscribe:

 

 
 

 

 

'Being a bigger child when I was growing up, I developed a lot of stretch marks and I hated them! People would always point them out and it would make me feel uncomfortable so I tried to hide them. I would try to use all sorts of things to get rid of them but nothing really worked. Maybe time helped me outgrow it or I just began to accept that they were a part of me or maybe I just got used to everyone talking about them. I don’t know, all I know is that I stopped being insecure about my stretch marks. It was like I literally woke up one day and stopped giving a shit about them.

We all have insecurities that try to eat at us either from the inside out or from the outside in. I definitely believe that it is completely normal to have insecurities because we are all human and are inevitably plagued by self-doubt. What I don’t believe in however, is letting our insecurities take over our lives. Many of us may not realize it but sometimes we tend to obsess over one flaw that we may or may not have and it ends up affecting everything we do — dictating to us what we can or cannot do.

In my opinion, the first step towards managing insecurities is identifying them. This may sound easy enough but at times, it is very painful to face the reality of who we are or even who we think we are. Once we are able to identify the things that make us doubt ourselves and our abilities we can then ask ourselves, “Is there solid proof that this is really true?” This question is very necessary because there are some of our insecurities that come from our own imagination and bad self-image. For those of them that cannot be backed up with proof, we then have to put in a conscious effort of working against the negative mindsets we have that make us see flaws that are not really there. 

If the answer to the previous question is a yes, the next question is going to be, “Is it really such a big deal to me and is it something I can change?”. If both answers to this question are ‘yes’ then the best way to deal with such an insecurity is to put in a conscious effort to change/get rid of it. If the thing that makes you doubt yourself is gone then that insecurity will cease to exist. If however, one of the answers to that question is ‘no’ then that is the point where you have to come to term with the fact that it is a part of who you are. You will then have to try your best to accept that thing and love yourself regardless. 

The journey of self-love, much like that of managing insecurities begins with acceptance. You will have to take a good, long and probably painful look in the mirror both literally and metaphorically and say to yourself, “This is me. These are all parts of me at this moment in time.” If you cannot accept the insecurities and flaws that you have or think you have, you can never really love yourself. That sounds harsh but it is true. Have you ever known people who didn't love themselves because they were overweight and would lose all of it and still hate themselves? This happens because self-love has to do with acceptance of our feelings, with changing mindsets and with acknowledging that it is completely human to doubt yourself. If we do not identify and change our negative mindsets, our insecurities will continue to dominate us.

As someone who has had and still has some insecurities, I know that facing the fact that I have insecurities and identifying them has really helped me to move forward on my self-love journey. Self-love is a journey and not a destination, I know it sounds cliché but it’s true. We often have this unrealistic expectation that we are going to get to this place where we have no insecurities at all and nothing bothers us but this is not true. I know that some people look like they are perfect and have absolutely no cares in the world but that too, is not true. Some people have learned to manage some of their insecurities by combating their negative mindsets and thus getting rid of them while others have accepted some of those insecurities as part of their reality and have just gotten rid of them. Some people have just understood the fact that since no one can be perfect, there will always be things that pop up in our minds, trying to consume us. So when those insecurities do try and surface, they combat them with positive affirmations and also by reminding themselves that it really isn't the end of the world and that it can and will not stop them from living their best lives. So if you have insecurities, welcome to the rest of the world, darling. Our aim should be to live life above your insecurities and love yourself regardless. That is what makes the difference between being insecure and just having insecurities. '

 

Quickie...

What are your insecurities? How do you combat it?

 

Be Better Brownie!

Bella

xx





1 Readers Commented

  1. Ejiro Onobrakpeya October 27, 2017 | Reply
    I talked about this on my blog, but from the perspective of how people treat you based on their insecurities and them feeling like because you seem to have everything together your life is perfect. My insecurities are mostly my acne and my oily face . How i deal with it ? I believe its doesn't define who i am and move on.

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