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The Mom Trap

And How To Escape It

Written by: Mama Zo Date: May 29, 2019

Dear Brownie,

How did I ever think that 24 hours in a day was enough? Sometimes I day dream (while the baby is sleeping of course) of when I had all that free time when I was still pregnant, just being spoiled and sleeping whenever I felt like and I let out a little wimper. It did't take a rocket scientist for me to figure out exactly when I entered the mom trap. What is the mom trap, you may ask?

I've had Zoë for two months now (10 weeks if you're a fellow new mum, counting dramatically in weeks like me) and the time has flown by! I look at my chunky monkey and wonder where the tiny little baby went! Thank you breast milk! Now, that's all really exciting but for the past couple of weeks since she got the tiniest bit more active, I've gotten nothing in life done! Missing deadlines, skipping my rituals and routines, you name it! Yes, this has to do with the fact that she's a new baby BUT it has mostly to do with me unwittingly entering into the mum trap. Devoting bbut necessary and unneccesary time to the world of BABY. Can you relate?

It's gotten to the point where I OBVIOUSLY think I'm a baby too! Waking up at random times, laying about looking at the ceiling till the next timew I'm beckoned upon by her royal highness LOL. But being back home has sparked a bit of a wake up call. Zo now sleeps four hours at a time at night and I can afford to get more done during the day. This transition back to having an adult life is a TRIP but here's how I'm currently coming out of the mom trap:

 

*You should bear in mind that it's much easier to get out of the mum trap when you've studied your baby and have a semblance of an idea what their schedule is like*

Plan. Plan. PLAN.

I've realised that I'm always awake at 4am in the morning now! Not because Zo still wakes up at that time but because I was so used to it in the first month, I haven't really recovered! So for the 30 or so minutes I'm awake at 4am, I write up my checklist with VIM. Now, there are a few things I consider when writing my list:

- I start out realistically not optimistically, nothing fancy until baby girl actually starts sleeping through the night and lets other people carry her for long periods of time lol

- I stick to the essentials for now, adding something new when I finish each list each day

- I have a pass mark for my list to determine how good I did at being a human lol (50% of your list done for example)

 

CREATE YOUR ROUTINE, YES. AGAIN

Yes, We had a working routine when baby wasn't hear BUT theres no reason we can't create one with her included. Did you ised to go to the gym at 8 or 9 am? now, you can go from 6am if your baby is always asleep at that time! Make sense

 

GRANT YOURSELF HALL PASSES

You're a human being, you deserve treats too! If you're like me and your baby is exclusively breastfeeding, it's a little harder to get out of the house to do what you want at the drop of a hat. Why not bring the treats to you? I'm a fan of healthy snacks (parfaits, for example!) so getting them regularly makes my ehart swell! I also beat my face when I get the chance because it is so therapeutic for me.

 

HAVE FRIENDS OVER

After talking to a baby all day and night alongside the same people you see everyday, there's nothing like a fresh face to kick your butt right back into factory setting! I'm happy i have most of my friends around me to remind me that even though Zo is my life, I also have a life outside her! It's so necessary, and it's something that needs to come from someone on the outside.

 

DELEGATE

This has been perhaps the hardest part for me because the only three people Zo really likes are my mum (Glamma Juju), her daddy and her mummy but I'm working hard to get her adjusted to everyone else at home so that I can delegate more when my other two trump cards are at work. It's amazing what a little time to yourself knowing that baby's needs are being attended to can do for you. If you can, DELEGATE. And if you're lucky enough to have a baby that takes a bottle, Bob's your uncle!

 

For mums out there, here's a quickie for you: What do you do to get out of the mom trap?

Be Better Brownie,

Bella

xxx





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