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Blog Post Be Inspired

Meet My Daddy

Written by: Bella Date: March 02, 2016

Dearest Brownie,

This post has literally been sitting in my drafts for months now just begging to be filled in, so I thought 'Now is was good as any' seeing as I've been on a break from my vlog channel 'The Brownie Diaries' . I thought it might be nice to introduce you to my dad. You know, nothing too formal, but if you've been on my vlog channel at all ( Click HERE), you've seen my mum quite a bit and you've probably wondered where my dad is/was! This is where my dad rests.

He's been gone for Eight years now and I'm happy to say although I still miss him terribly, it's gotten easier to deal with. You brownies are my family and your unending support means so much to me! I don't really share a lot of personal stuff on the blog because if I started, there wouldn't be enough space for anything else lol.

My dad passed away when I was in secondary school, I remember it like yesterday. I was in Presentation National High School in Benin at the time, dealing with incessant allergies, my annoying back brace (Oh Joy) and my braces not to talk of the regular stuff teens or pre-teens have to detail with that make us think we will never be just okay.

That faithful day (does it sound like a Nigerian Film yet?) My aunt abruptly came to pick me up for an 'orthodontists' appointment' but this time was different. APPARENTLY, I needed to go ALL the way to Abuja for it, even though my orthodontist at the time was in Benin. Thinking back, BIG RED FLAG! But at the time, I was just excited to be going home,you know?

Jumped into the car and the mood was off, my aunt flew into the back seat hiding every newspaper in sight. What was my business with newspapers ? I didn't read them at the time so nothing clicked (I swear I'm much more perceptive now, lol. No judgement)

We got to Abuja and my aunt was trying so hard to keep me calm and I didn't understand why. Nothing guts your heart faster than knowing your best friend was gone FOREVER. I got into my estate and saw that those weird canopy thing were EVERYWHERE and as soon as I saw the faces outside, I knew something was amis, and being the girl I am, I immediately asked where my dad was. 

Tears flowed but none from me for what seemed like months. I told myself I needed to be the one in charge of their emotions, I had to be the strong one and I didn't weep till we got to this place you see in the pictures.

Obviously, he's not there there anymore, but anytime I go to my village, I take some time out to just sit there, you know?

For years on end, I was angry with him. How could he just LEAVE me like that ? Not just me, everyone who held him so dear? It's been a battle

Sometimes, I still talk to him when I'm stuck. I ask him for favours and I complain and yell at him too, lol. I'm glad he can't reply just yet or it would get really awkward!

My dad was a joy to behold, he was smart, loving, funny and he was my favourite person in the whole world. He understood me, my anxiety, all of it and I thought it would be terribly unfair not to share the most important impact on my life with you, my new family.

Quick Question: Who's Your Favourite person? When last did you tell them how important they are to you?

Brown And Lovin' It,



12 Readers Commented

  1. desola March 03, 2016 | Reply
    My mum is the most important person in my life I always pray to God she knows it, sorry about your dad. I have serious anxiety issues myself and I know what it means to have someone that gets that. May he continue to rest in peace. xo
    • Brownie March 20, 2016
      Thank you so much, Desola! Amen! God bless you and your darling mum who you steal clothes from, lol! x
  2. An Afrikan Butterfly March 03, 2016 | Reply
    Reading this made me a little sad (I cannot imagine what real loss is like, though I know it is inevitable) I'm sure your dad was a great guy, and I'm happy you had an actual relationship with him. Many have dads, but not as many are close with theirs. Love your new site btw, Bella! It's beautiful. x
    • Brownie March 20, 2016
      Thank you so much! God bless you for being so incredibly sweet as well! Big fan of your site!!
  3. Eyek March 03, 2016 | Reply
    Thanks so much for your transparency. I definitely relate to your story as I found out about the loss of my younger brother (who was my best friend) in a similar way. I know better than to put all kinds of inspirational quotes in this comment because I know how difficult it is to comfort and be comforted after the loss of a dear loved one. To answer your above question: I don't think I told my brother how much I loved him or valued him and I beat myself up about it nearly everyday. Thanks for your strength and inspiration and God bless you and yours. <3
    • Brownie March 20, 2016
      I'm so sorry for your brother, Eyek! May his soul rest in peace. It's so sad how death pulls people apart when we aren't ready to let them go but God knows best, right? What people don't understand is how hard it is not to replay scenarios with them over and over again. Only one who what been bereaved knows what it feels like, I'm glad we understand each other as well. You are loved.
  4. Cheechee March 08, 2016 | Reply
    I sometimes wondered why you dint mention him.My favourite person is my mum and I have decided never to fail to tell how how much I love her!Life is so fleeting and unexpected,we will be fools to hold on to how we feel for the sake of wht?Beautiful post sweets!May God keep resting his soul.Amen
    • Brownie March 20, 2016
      I'm so glad your mother knows how much she means to you!life is definitely short and should be experienced to the fullest! Thank you my darling!
  5. The Brown Ivory April 14, 2016 | Reply
    OMG Anabell.. (SEE FAMZING.. LOL) I'm a subscriber on all your social media (except twitter) and I finally decided to check out you blog. Let me first start by complimenting the packaging. From the home screen, with all the slide thingys, I was likE "GHEN GHEN". Anyway, I'm very impressed. I knew from YouTube that your dad had passed on but reading your words really made me cry because I cannot begin to imagine the immense pain I would feel if any of my parents were too pass on. I pray that God continually gives you strength to overcome any circumstance you might face. And also that you and Moses get married.. LOL #YoursTruly Teni.
    • Brownie April 20, 2016
      You are by far the sweetest brownie I've evr heard from! Thank you so much, Teni! You have no idea how much this means to me! Especially the part about my site being 'GHEN GHEN' lmao!!
  6. Tim May 24, 2016 | Reply
    Awwww...This was quite emotional. I must say I feel like like giving u a massive bear hug rn.It so sad how life snatches the ones we love unexpectedly.I guess we just need to keep showing love to the ones we love, life is too short to hold back. I can tell he was such a great dad.keep making him proud.xo
  7. bukola May 27, 2016 | Reply
    My favourite person was my Father,he died when I was in my 3rd year in the Uni, I remember very well how my aunt called me from where I was then to come and donate blood for him and as soon as I dropped the call,i ran to woman i was with then and told her my father had died and she asked who told me,and then I told her what my aunt told me on the phone....the woman almost slapped me for saying that but I just knew he was dead like, I just knew I felt kind of empty and immediately I developed Malaria,cough......The journey from osun state to abk felt like forever and just like you saw many people in your estate, I saw many people in front of our compound and then I knew he was really dead.........I still see him in my dreams all of the time, most times when I get confused about issues around me AND RECENTLY he bought a car for me in ma dreams. Funny right,a pastor once said i'm demon possessed bcos i still see him.......LIE.....Lolz....

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