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Meet My Daddy
Dearest Brownie,
This post has literally been sitting in my drafts for months now just begging to be filled in, so I thought 'Now is was good as any' seeing as I've been on a break from my vlog channel 'The Brownie Diaries' . I thought it might be nice to introduce you to my dad. You know, nothing too formal, but if you've been on my vlog channel at all ( Click HERE), you've seen my mum quite a bit and you've probably wondered where my dad is/was! This is where my dad rests.
He's been gone for Eight years now and I'm happy to say although I still miss him terribly, it's gotten easier to deal with. You brownies are my family and your unending support means so much to me! I don't really share a lot of personal stuff on the blog because if I started, there wouldn't be enough space for anything else lol.
My dad passed away when I was in secondary school, I remember it like yesterday. I was in Presentation National High School in Benin at the time, dealing with incessant allergies, my annoying back brace (Oh Joy) and my braces not to talk of the regular stuff teens or pre-teens have to detail with that make us think we will never be just okay.
That faithful day (does it sound like a Nigerian Film yet?) My aunt abruptly came to pick me up for an 'orthodontists' appointment' but this time was different. APPARENTLY, I needed to go ALL the way to Abuja for it, even though my orthodontist at the time was in Benin. Thinking back, BIG RED FLAG! But at the time, I was just excited to be going home,you know?
Jumped into the car and the mood was off, my aunt flew into the back seat hiding every newspaper in sight. What was my business with newspapers ? I didn't read them at the time so nothing clicked (I swear I'm much more perceptive now, lol. No judgement)
We got to Abuja and my aunt was trying so hard to keep me calm and I didn't understand why. Nothing guts your heart faster than knowing your best friend was gone FOREVER. I got into my estate and saw that those weird canopy thing were EVERYWHERE and as soon as I saw the faces outside, I knew something was amis, and being the girl I am, I immediately asked where my dad was.
Tears flowed but none from me for what seemed like months. I told myself I needed to be the one in charge of their emotions, I had to be the strong one and I didn't weep till we got to this place you see in the pictures.
Obviously, he's not there there anymore, but anytime I go to my village, I take some time out to just sit there, you know?
For years on end, I was angry with him. How could he just LEAVE me like that ? Not just me, everyone who held him so dear? It's been a battle
Sometimes, I still talk to him when I'm stuck. I ask him for favours and I complain and yell at him too, lol. I'm glad he can't reply just yet or it would get really awkward!
My dad was a joy to behold, he was smart, loving, funny and he was my favourite person in the whole world. He understood me, my anxiety, all of it and I thought it would be terribly unfair not to share the most important impact on my life with you, my new family.
Quick Question: Who's Your Favourite person? When last did you tell them how important they are to you?
Brown And Lovin' It,
Bella
xx
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